“Our followers love SKITTLES® not simply
for its scrumptious fruity flavors, however for the irreverence and sense
of humor for which the model is understood.”
That quote comes from Skittles’ Senior
Model Supervisor Rebecca Duke, and whereas I gained’t place all of the blame on
her for each terrible Skittles business I’ve seen within the final ten
years, her assertion does make it appear to be she was complicit.
Examples of their irreverence and humorousness embody however aren’t
restricted to:
- Pretending their sweet is a communicable illness
- Exhibiting an grownup man with an umbilical twine popping out of his abdomen who can style the flavors of the Skittles his mom is consuming (she is seated on the sofa subsequent to him and the opposite finish of the twine disappears between her legs)
- The completely haunted man who’s cursed to have every little thing he touches flip to Skittles (this one is definitely nice)
- Utilizing torture strategies to get a rainbow to surrender its Skittles
- Hiring Steven Tyler, the worst crime of all
Skittles doesn’t appear too into making particular flavor-themed commercials, so it’s unlikely you’ll be seeing a bunch of decomposing corpses humping till all of them cum in an explosion of gore-themed candies. Irreverent!
The premise: All of the Skittles look the identical, most are “regular” flavored, however some style like rotten zombie. It’s just like the Harry Potter beans, if one should insist on such a comparability, as did each single individual to whom I defined Zombie Skittles.
The distinction, after all, is that you simply’re taking part in Russian roulette as a substitute of understanding which sweet will likely be gross. Right here we encounter the basic downside with Zombie Skittles: you’ve already received one foot within the grave. There’s no strategy to get pleasure from these candies, since you’re always dreading getting a rotten one.
As for the zombie style, I’m joyful to report that it isn’t that unhealthy. Jones Bacon Soda tasted far more zombie-like than this. There’s no style of decomposing flesh; as a substitute, it’s an odd savory taste that may catch your consideration instantly, however in all probability gained’t trigger you to spit it out.
It’s probably not meat-like in taste, only a generic kind of anti-candy “blech”. I used to be in a position to energy by way of it and the style light shortly afterwards with no lingering. I might say worse of different meals I’ve tried.
Right here’s the factor about Zombie Skittles: they’re not for me, and so they’re not for you, both. They’re for buddies, enemies, co-workers, and Trick or Treaters. No person (besides psychopaths) is gonna sit down and eat past one zombie-flavored Skittle. (I received one on my fourth attempt.)
No person’s right here for the non-zombie flavors, both They’re simply what you’d anticipate, anyhow, and I wouldn’t be stunned to be taught that they’re all retreads with new names, however I’m too lazy to look it up.
These aren’t meant to be enjoyable for one; they’re meant for use as consuming recreation gadgets and playground dares; used to torture and in addition delight the kids that ring your door on October 31st. They’re enjoyable! Halloween is enjoyable!
Talking of enjoyable, I attempted to make a cool zombie claw out of Skittles, however it didn’t work so I simply freehanded a cranium. I like him and his little crooked smile. My mild skelly boy.
Zombie Skittles
- Rating: 4 out of 5 candy-cumming zombies
- Value: $2.28
- Measurement: 10.72 oz. bag
- Bought at: walmart.com
- Dietary Quirk: I’d like to understand how the zombie taste was determined upon. It’s such an unusual, hard-to-place style, and the method getting there appears fascinating.